Humpday Q and A – Can you switch?

Good morning!  Happy humpday!  Today is about switching.  Are you one of those couples that switch?  Many couples have a set rule one is the dominant the other the submissive and that is where it always remains.  One of the reasons for that is we are who we are by nature.  Some of us could never dominate it just isn’t in the person’s nature.  Some would never be submissive because that is the way they are.  They have to be control.  Some people are able to switch and move from their roles.  This may be difficult to switch roles for some.  However,  many dominants have very high stress jobs, and have to make many decisions all day every day and it continues in the D/s relationship.   Subs are also very strong and may have stressful jobs or have to make daily decisions also, but the dominant usually has the final say.  Maybe and i am just saying maybe, it may be nice for the dominant to have a short break once in a while and let someone else make some choices, even if it is just in the bedroom once in a while.  A switch of roles where the dominant becomes the submissive and the submissive becomes the dominant.  It could be fun.  Like role play.  Just like anything else you have done in kink that seemed weird the first time, it may feel weird or awkward, but it may also add some excitement into the relationship.  Then we slip back into our normal routine of daily D/s and into our normal roles in the relationship.  It could be for one night, a day, or several days, or however long the couple agrees on, but it should be a mutual choice. I for one, would do this if my dominant wanted me to.  Being dominant is not my nature.  But keeping my dominant happy is in my nature.  Therefore, if he suggested that we “switch” for a day or a week, or even a month, or however long he wanted, i would do it for him with pleasure.

So my question is this:  Being that we are usually all either submissive or dominant by nature and usually fall into one of those categories could you switch?  As a submissive, could you take over the dominant’s role and how would you feel about it?  As a dominant, could you become submissive?  Would you submit to your submissive?  How does this make you feel as a Dom. that wouldn’t have control even for a short time?

Naughty Desires Humpday Q and A

It is Wednesday, these Wednesday’s seem to be coming around faster and faster!    It also seems i have neglected writing here.  A quick note on that, i had my vacation in Vegas, then when i came back i was ill and trying to keep up with two businesses and family.  i am feeling better now and i am finally beginning to catch up, i just wish there were more hours in a day.

Today i am writing about something very important in a D/s relationship or any couples relationship.  In order for relationships to work there has to be trust.  Many people have trust issues.  However, trust is so important.  Without trust you might as well hang it up.  You can’t spend your time worrying about what your he or she is doing when they are not with you.  If they love you, then there should be nothing to worry about.  Because if you are going to worry every time they walk out that door you will be absolutely miserable.  It will eat at you like a cancer.  It will make for arguments that should not be had and eventually lead to a breakdown in the relationship and what you once had will be gone.  Possibly forever.  So have faith that when he or she walks out that door that they will be faithful. If you can’t help yourself, try to keep quiet about it.  The feeling may pass.  Ask yourself, what is it that i don’t trust them?  Is there a real reason for it, or is it in your mindset because someone else has been unfaithful to you.  Until someone has done you wrong, you have no reason not to trust them.  If they truly love you, nobody else can take them from you.  So relax have faith in them and yourself.   Respect is also a big part of a well balanced relationship.  No need to be disrespectful.  Respect and kindness will get you so much further.   Trust and Respect are two things every relationship should have to help it grow and mature.  In a D/s relationship there is also obedience of the sub or slave.  To submit to the Master/Dom.  Obedience is also a form of respect that is necessary for D/s relationships to function well. If you are told or asked to do something that you can’t possibly do, don’t just ignore the request from your Dom as that would be considered disobedience, and disrespectful.   Explain what the reason is, and if it is a legitimate reason, things can usually be worked out.

My question of the day is this:

Of these three Trust, Respect and Obedience, which one is the most important to you?  Is is trust, or respect, or obedience?  If you were to categorize them from the Most important, second most important and third how would you categorize them and why?  Love and communication are also important issues as well as others, but today i am just concentrating on these three at hand.  Any takers for answers on this?

Naughty Desires – Having a sale in my store!

It has been a very busy month for me.  Spending time with my sister in Las Vegas, Nevada was great!  We had a lot of catching up to do because it has been so many years since we have seen each other.  We had a blast going to see shows, shopping, going to casinos, out to eat, it was just fantastic.  The plane rides were different for me too, since she lives on the opposite side of the country.  We had so much fun, i didn’t want to leave.  i have been back for a short time getting my shops in order and now i am having a fun sale in my store at http://www.sexybdsmwear.com.  There are many items on sale with some as much as 30% off.  With every purchase of merchandise $15.00 or more a mystery gift will be added to the package.  No coupon necessary it is just put in there!  What is the mystery gift?  I’m not telling.  lol.  It will be something fun and/or interesting.

Here are a few samples of what is on sale, but go check it out for yourself.  Sale ends 5/1/15

1394825391213677024381

Bow lace Suspender Pantyhose Regular price 11.75 now 8.22

13900008732911037347741

Sweet Sexy Chemise Bustier regular price $28.00 Now on sale $19.59

1388424768634-1700448874

Slave Teddy regular price $30.85 on sale now $21.59

1397013423851-32812381

Porte Jarretelles Yummy regular price $12.00 on sale now $8.39

Black Shiny Bustier Regular Price $34.95 on sale now $24.46

Black Shiny Bustier
Regular Price $34.95 on sale now $24.46

Naughty Desires

i am doing it.  For the first time in thirty one years i am going on vacation!  i am so excited.  i put my sexybdsmwear.com site on vacation and in a few minutes i am putting my hotspotjewelryshop.com on vacation.  i will actually be hanging around here until i get on a plane April 1 to Las Vegas to see a sister i have not seen since i was eighteen years old,.  i won’t be back until the night of April 15, so i will reopen both shops on April 16.  Technically, i can not close the sexybdsmwear.com store, but i have put all orders on delayed shipping until i get back so people can still order, but will have to wait to have the items sent out when i get back.  It is going to be a great vacation.

The humpday Q and A have not been published the last couple of weeks due to very busy days and preparation to leave for vacation , but will resume soon.

Time to go put my jewelry shop on vacation.

Humpday Q and A

The Humpday Q and A has been delayed.  Last week i didn’t post due to being extremely busy and this Wednesday i didn’t post because the last two days i have been enjoying life away from the computer for the most part. Today i didn’t get to it with trying to catch up to speed with everything here in the office.   I will try to post Humpday Q and A next week.  If there is anything you would like to suggest for a humpday q and a question on D/s relationships or subjects relating to it please feel free to let me know and i will try to post it on a Wednesday.

i am exhausted.  Good night to all.

Humpday Q and A Spanking and counting

i can’t believe it is already Wednesday, this past week has gone so fast it is almost a blur.  i also can’t believe this day is almost over and oops i haven’t put my post in for today yet.  i have been so very busy, non stop.  My post is going to be a short one regarding spanking and counting.  As for myself, i lose track of thought very easily sometimes.  Do you ever get up to go into a room for something, and on the way there you may be distracted with something, or not, and when you get where you are suppose to be, hmmmm.  What did i come in here for?  Yep, i don’t know how many times i have done that one.  It happens to the best of us, especially when we are preoccupied with something already.  Which brings me to the counting while being spanked and the question of the day:

Your Dom  (Sir, Master, Daddy, Mistress, Domme)  is spanking you and you have been instructed to count with the spanks.  Sounds easy right? Well, maybe not that easy. You are going to be distracted by the feel of the spanks and what ever else is going on and whatever is gong through your brain functions.  If you forget what number you are on and you lose count, you have to start all over!  Just how far do YOU get when being spanked,  before you lose track and have to start over, and how many times do you have to start over during a spanking usually?

Humpday Q and A Do you tell anyone?

Here is a topic i find of interest.  i will ask the question at the end.  Many D/s and vanilla relationships these days begin online.  The internet has opened up the world for all of us, so you are not just meeting the people in your community but people from everywhere throughout this entire world to anyone who has a computer, laptop, tablet, or cell phone with internet services.  We are very lucky that we can meet amazing wonderful people that we would have never met otherwise.  So you meet someone online from face book, fetlife, chat rooms, so many places to choose from and you “click”.  A friendship is formed, a bond is made.  You have some friendly conversations and then find yourself talking to that person every day.  You can hardly wait to say hello, and they are there throughout the day with emails and messages.  They are the last person you say good night to before you go to sleep.  You seem to really like each other a lot.  After a while you have had extensive conversations, perhaps and usually exchanged pictures. Maybe even family pictures.   You share much of your daily lives.  Even though they may be very far away in miles, it seems like they are right there with you.  Your conversations get more intimate over the course of time.  There may be talking of meeting “someday”.  A few months after you have been talking to this person online that you have come to have some real feelings for this person,  If all has gone well up to this point where they have shared their full name, where they live, where they work, what kind of work they do, their age this is all good.  So now they want to meet you, and you want to meet them.  You already like them, it can only get better.  You both are wondering at this point, will their be chemistry in person, will they like me when they see me, will i like them when i see them, will we get along as well as we have online?  You will probably be asking yourself so many questions.  Then there is the one thing you still need to consider.,  Safety. Always think, safety first.   You have to remember, even though you have been conversing with this wonderful person that you have come to adore, you still need to be cautious when you meet at first.  Here is what i think a person should do whether you are a sub meeting your Dom for the first time, or someone entering into a vanilla relationship  and meeting for the first time, you need to Tell someone what you are doing.  Now if you are single, you have probably already told a few friends about your new dom, boyfriend, girlfriend, however you want to consider the relationship.  If you are married, and you are meeting someone, chances are you are pretty tight lipped about it.  Don’t be.  We all (i hope) have that one friend, the one who is there for us.  The friend who loves you and you can trust them with your life.  The one friend that is non-judgmental and understands you completely. The friend that would never tell another living soul your secret no matter what.  Tell that one friend. That is your life rope,  Make arrangements with them that they will know where you are, and what you are doing.  Have them call you to check on you, and have a secret code to use if you need help, or another code to say hey leave me alone everything is great i am good.  Chances are 99% good that the only code you will give is the one that says leave me alone, i am good.  It’s for just in case.  Because even though you may have had numerous countless conversations, and you seem to click, you just don’t know for sure until you meet face to face.  Now one more thing i would like to add is to be honest with the person you are going to meet.  You are excited to meet them, and you are comfortable with them, so let them know.  Tell them yes i would love to meet you, and let them know that you are going to let one person know about it.  If they care about you and they are sincere and trusting, they won’t mind.  They might even tell you that it is a wise thing for you to do for yourself.  They might have done the same, remember, they don’t really know you either.  It goes both ways.  All this being said, this is just my opinion.  If anyone has anything they would like to add to this please feel free and make a comment below.

Here is the Humpday Q and A question.

You met someone you really like a lot online, they asked you to meet them in person.  Do you not tell anyone what you are doing because you are comfortable and excited to meet them OR do you even if it’s just for the sake of safety, tell at least one person that you know and trust,  where you are going and what you are doing?